Marriage Retreats Pastor & Ministry Leader Retreats

Young married couple leaning into our ideas for how to spice up your marriage

How to Spice up Your Marriage

July 21, 2023
Sex and Intimacy

10 Ways To Add Some Spice Back in Your Marriage 

Our guess is the initial excitement of being married to the person you’re madly in love with felt as natural as breathing, but add careers, kids, and a mortgage into the mix, and somewhere along the way you might have started to wonder where the wonder went. Does this sound familiar? This is a completely normal feeling for any marriage, but it doesn’t have to be your storyline. If you’re wondering how to spice up your marriage, we’re here to help. Here are 10 ideas to spark laughter, reignite romance, and create a deeper connection with your spouse. 

1. Plan a Sneak Attack

Buy two nerf guns. When you know your spouse is on the way home, leave one nerf gun and a note, “Come find me,” by the door. When they get home, it’s game on! This playful activity can bring back the thrill and fun you experienced when you first started dating.

2. Communicate With Emojis Only

Pick a day where you channel your creative communication—for this day, you can only talk via emojis. For example, “👀 🫵 🌃 🤟” This will challenge you to think outside the box and can lead to some hilarious and memorable exchanges.

3. Schedule Sex

Don’t knock it until you try it. Scheduling sex can lead to heightened anticipation. Not only will you be prioritizing intimacy among your busy schedule, but it’ll leave you with extra time to get in the mood! You might even create a fun calendar just for intimate moments, marking these dates with heart stickers or playful notes to make the anticipation even more exciting.

4. Channel Spontaneity

Some people like schedules, some don’t. If you and your spouse fall on different ends of the spectrum, meet each other’s needs by doing both. Next time one of you wants to go rogue and ditch the calendar, lean into their spontaneous nature. Plan a surprise outing or an impromptu road trip to keep things exciting.

5. Write a Love Letter

When was the last time you wrote a heartfelt, romantic letter to your better half? Spend time pouring out your love in a special handwritten letter for your spouse to read. This timeless gesture can reignite feelings and remind your spouse how much they mean to you.

6. Flirt

Don’t wait to turn on the romance until the bedroom. Send a flirty text, wink at your spouse across the room, or cuddle up with one another. These small gestures can build up anticipation and create a continuous thread of romance throughout your day.

7. Have a Power Outage Date Night

Use your imagination! Pretend the power is out at your home, and enjoy a romantic evening only by candlelight. This can create an intimate and cozy atmosphere, allowing you to focus solely on each other without any distractions.

8. Get Sweaty

Exercise unlocks powerful feel-good hormones like dopamine in your brain, and it can also increase a desire for intimacy. Release stress, and take advantage of the happy hormones flowing as a result of exercising together. Whether it’s a hike, a dance class, or a jog in the park, getting active together can strengthen your bond.

9. Enhance the Atmosphere

It’s totally normal for the bedroom to become the catchall every once in a while. Dedicate time to not only cleaning your room but upping the ante and making it a relaxing, inviting environment. Light candles, turn on soft music, and pull out the best sheets. And, ditch the oversize T-shirt or gym shorts from high school. 

10. Communicate Your Desires

Having vulnerable and honest communication is vital for any healthy marriage, and conversations about intimacy aren’t excluded. A strong emotional connection fosters a more satisfying physical relationship. 

Spicing up your marriage is not relegated to only spicing up the bedroom. Intimacy is more than just sex. So, as important as physical intimacy is, don’t neglect the value of emotional, intellectual, creative, experiential, and spiritual intimacy. Sharing your feelings, asking probing questions, cooking a new recipe, trying a new hobby, and praying are all examples of ways you can spice up your marriage by tapping into other forms of intimacy. As you move through your day-to-day routines and rituals, be intentional about prioritizing ways to add some “spice” to your life! 

Attend a Retreat to Help Spice Up Your Marriage

If you and your spouse want to dive deeper into sex and intimacy content, consider attending God, Sex, and Your Marriage!

Get Marriage Resources Sent to Your Inbox