“Where there is no vision, the people perish.”

We’ve all heard this before in reference to politics, corporate companies, movements — even churches. But this is no old adage; it comes straight from scripture (Proverbs 29:18), and it applies to much more than just hitting the bottom line.

We’re talking about your marriage.

The Bible wastes no time underlining the importance of being in relationship. Just a few pages into Genesis, we see God say it’s not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18), soon followed by the creation of man’s perfect counterpart — woman (Genesis 2:21-22).

If a covenant marriage is important enough to be introduced in the second chapter of a 1,189-chapter book of scripture, how much more important is our response to biblical guidance on how to steward that relationship?

We would argue it’s highly important, and Proverbs gives us one of the first steps to do it well.

If people perish without vision, then a marriage between two people is not exempt. To know how to have a successful marriage, it’s critical to know what you’re working toward. It’s not enough to pursue being “healthy” — a status that holds many different meanings for different people. You must be more specific; it’s the only way to work backward and know what it will take to see your marriage track in the right direction.

Vision determines goals, and goals determine tactical steps.

It all starts with vision.

What is your vision? What is the proverbial banner that you want to hang over your marriage, driving your choices and reactions individually and as a couple? Put simply, what do you want your marriage to look like?

Answering those questions isn’t as complicated as it seems. It just takes time and an openness to talking through each person’s hope for marriage.

As a first step, set aside time with your spouse to answer that question together:

What do we want our marriage to look like?

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Use that answer to help decide three to four goals you have for your marriage over the next year. When writing them, think of things you can track over time and celebrate when they’re accomplished. Your goals should all point toward the unified vision you already created:

1. _________________________________________________________
2. _________________________________________________________
3. _________________________________________________________
4. _________________________________________________________

From there, try to agree on three to four words from the following list that you would like to describe for your family, whether the description is something you want to continue prioritizing or is something you want to work toward:

A vision is not accomplished overnight, but creating one can happen in just a few minutes of honesty, vulnerability and agreement on what a couple a desires for their relationship.

Interested in more content on developing healthy communication skills with your spouse? Consider our Romantic Adventure Marriage Retreat, designed to help couples slow down, focus on communicating, and forget about routine for a weekend.