Christian Marriage Advice for Newlyweds

20 Tips for Newly Married Couples Desiring a Strong Marriage Foundation 

Newlyweds—congratulations on your new marriage journey! As you begin this exciting chapter as husband and wife, here are some essential tips to help you lay a strong foundation for a Christ-centered union. We’ll explore the following categories: communication, conflict management, finances, sex and intimacy, and friends and family dynamics. After you’ve read through the list of marriage advice, pick a few pieces to put into practice right away. Once you have a rhythm with those, choose a few more to focus on during these early years of marriage.

Communication 

1. Believe the best of your better half. Seek to understand their emotions, perspectives, and concerns without judgment. 
2. Choose your words carefully. Words are like toothpaste in a tube—once they come out, they can’t be taken back. Harsh words and criticism can erode trust and intimacy. Even if you’re frustrated, it’s possible to convey love, respect, and kindness when communicating. 
3. Cultivate a culture of appreciation. Make it a habit to verbally express thankfulness for each other’s efforts and gestures. If you noticed your spouse unloaded the dishwasher, say, “Thank you,” out loud—verbalizing gratitude is powerful and has been proven to strengthen your bond. 
4. Take ten—dedicate at least ten minutes daily to connect and catch up. Talk about what’s happening in your world, so your spouse can understand how to be supportive and encouraging.

Conflict Management 

1. Avoid accusatory language when discussing problems. Instead, use “I” statements to express your feelings and needs without blaming your spouse; for example, “I feel misunderstood.” 
2. Seek resolution and solutions that benefit your marriage. The ability to understand and compromise is crucial in lasting conflict management/resolution.   
3. Invite God into your conflicts through prayer. Seek guidance, wisdom, and understanding in resolving your issues. He cares and wants your marriage to be healthy. 
4. Be willing to say, “I’m sorry.” Laying down your pride and genuinely apologizing can go a long way in your marriage.   

Finances 

1. Create a budget. Even though it may be intimidating, creating a simple, workable plan where you and your spouse agree on how to spend your money can save you from a lot of tension in your relationship. Some easy budgeting apps you can check out are EveryDollar, Mint, Monarch Money, or YNAB. If this makes you break out in a cold sweat, check out our tips for managing finances in your marriage. Be patient, regularly review your financial goals/progress, and adjust as necessary.
2. Be honest about debt. Disclose any and all outstanding debts to one another, and work together to develop a plan to pay them off. 
3. Make mutual decisions about giving and saving. All you have belongs to Him. 2 Corinthians 9:7 reminds us that “God loves a cheerful giver.” Tithing is a foundational spiritual discipline, and the Lord‘s faithfulness will be evident when you are faithful with what has been entrusted to you. Additionally, saving for unplanned emergencies (they will happen) and special occasions is wise.
4. Don’t compare your financial situation to others. Cultivate contentment and gratitude for what you have, and avoid the trap of thinking you need more “stuff.”

Sex and Intimacy 

1. Have fun! Physical intimacy is a beautiful gift from God that strengthens your bond. It’s not meant to be stressful. It takes time to learn your spouse, so as you get to know each other, commit to having fun in the process.
2. Be a learner. Just like everything else in life, there are always new things to learn when it comes to intimacy. Ministries like Authentic Intimacy are great places to start. 
3. Prioritize growing your emotional connection, too. Emotional intimacy paves the way for a more fulfilling physical relationship, so cultivate emotional closeness through spending quality time together. 
4. Be considerate. Be attentive to one another’s needs and preferences. Always ensure that your spouse feels valued and respected during intimate moments. Before, after, and even during intimate moments, don’t be afraid to communicate your expectations and desires in a respectful manner. 

Friends and Family 

1. Establish clear boundaries. It’s important to maintain healthy relationships with friends and family but not at the expense of your marriage, which should remain the top priority. 
2. Be wise when making new friends. Do you both like the couple, and are they good for your marriage? 
3. Present a unified front when dealing with family. Make decisions as a couple, and use “we” language; for example, “We’ve decided…”; “Our family…”. When dealing with in-laws, each spouse should be the spokesperson to their parents. 
4. Seek advice from older, more experienced, married Christian couples. They can provide valuable insights, wisdom, and encouragement for your marriage journey. 

Armed with the power of heartfelt communication, healthy conflict management strategies, financial wisdom, the beauty of intimacy, and the art of relational balance, your marriage will have what it takes to thrive! Trust in God’s guidance and His word to lead you through the joys and challenges of your marriage adventure.