The Importance of Spending the Night Away With Your Spouse

Take a moment to think about when you and your spouse got married…how easy was it to schedule a date night? There were probably many times, you might not have scheduled it at all. “Hey, honey! Want to go out for pizza tonight?” “Sure!” And just like that, you went on a date.

In the early years, you also may have found it easy to spend the night away together, or even crazier, the weekend! However, the longer you’ve been married, it’s possible, the more difficult it’s been to plan one-on-one time with your spouse. Your careers have taken off, you’ve welcomed babies into your family, or, you’ve just gotten comfortable, and date nights have fallen lower on your priority list. Before long, you may find yourselves in a romantic rut—going through the motions of marriage.

So, what’s the cure? Intentionally planning nights away with your spouse. Here’s five reasons why they’re important.

1. Brings Energy to Your Relationship

The most obvious reason for making a date night or evening away from home a priority is because it’s the first step to getting out of the rut—alone time with just your spouse is the perfect way to energize your marriage. This time away should be a break from “doing.” It isn’t meant to review your budget, choose summer camps for your kids, or do a spring cleaning. It’s “you time”—playing together, sharing laughs, having fun, and creating new memories—which goes hand in hand with increasing the happiness in your marriage.

2. Gives You Space and Time To Connect

Not only do you bring new energy to your marriage, getting away brings deeper connection with your spouse. Whether your schedule allows for an evening to enjoy dinner or you’re able to spend the night at a hotel, removing the distractions of your normal routine—emails coming in or family members requiring attention—allows you to relax and focus on each other. You’ll have quality conversations while looking at one another eye to eye. Date nights give you a few uninterrupted hours to talk, and nights away allow for longer and deeper conversation as well as opportunities to dream about the future.

3. Rekindles Romance and Increases Intimacy

Planning both regular date nights as well as overnight dates can increase the intimacy and passion in your marriage. In the beginning, coming up with and executing romantic gestures tends to be easier. Over time, romance can fade if you don’t make intentional efforts to stoke the flames of desire. Spending time with your spouse, somewhere other than your home and bedroom, helps you remember why you fell in love, reignites passion in the moment, and maintains the relationship spark overtime.

4. Builds a Strong Foundation To Overcome Obstacles

Making date nights a priority where you focus on one another and nurture your relationship reinforces your commitment and better equips you to face future difficulties. You can’t expect to just “feel” connected to your spouse when challenges arise if you haven’t laid the groundwork. When you face trials in your jobs, with your children, or even amongst yourselves, you’re going to need to rely on each other to help carry you through. When challenges come, you’ll be able to lean on the strong bond you’ve built.

5. Sets an Important Example for Your Children

Choosing to care for your marriage is one amazing way to set your children up for success. Kids learn by example, so seeing their mom and dad make dating a priority, even though they’re married and “see each other all the time,” teaches them that they, too, should prioritize their relationships whether friendships now or marriage in the future. Allowing your little ones to see a healthy relationship firsthand is one of the greatest gifts you can give them.

Designating time to date your spouse is vital for the health of your marriage. Do the leg work now to avoid slipping into a romantic rut. If you feel like you’re in a rut, start by simply getting a date night on the calendar. See how that will impact your relationship now. It’s easy to get disconnected from your spouse when life is hectic, making it easier for angst to enter into your relationship. Work to keep that from happening. Making nights away a priority isn’t a “nice to have” but a necessity. It makes you feel good and helps you be better together.