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Middle aged married couple looking for how to reconnect with your spouse, so they're having a date at a coffee shop

25 Ideas: How To Reconnect With Your Spouse

February 7, 2023
Marriage Enrichment

25 Things To Do To Reconnect With Your Spouse

There are many reasons it sometimes feels difficult to connect with your spouse in new ways, especially if you’ve been married for a while. Routines are great for providing structure and stability, but they don’t always allow for flexibility and spontaneity. Whether you’re newly married and have a stricter budget or you’ve been married for some time and simply need new ideas for how to reconnect with your spouse, look no further. Our list below features various ways you and your spouse can connect—some obvious, others not so much.  

We challenge you to choose one or two to do to reconnect with your spouse this week, or this month, and see how your connection deepens with one another. 

1. Share intentional conversation.

Maybe you and your spouse just need to talk about new things. Check out this post on What To Talk About With Your Spouse To Reconnect if conversation is something you’re struggling with. 

Older married couple looking for how to reconnect with your spouse, so they're sharing intentional conversation with one another

2. Put your marriage first, before your children.

Find one way to intentionally put your marriage first like putting a date night on the calendar and sticking to it. When you prioritize your marriage, you create a security blanket around your kids, giving them an environment to thrive in. 

3. Be curious.

Study your spouse this week and see what you notice about them that you haven’t before or maybe not in a while. Is there a physical feature you find attractive you could complement them on? Is there a way you could serve them this week because you paid closer attention to their routine? 

4. Put questions in a hat, and choose one or two a day to answer.

We’ve got you covered here—use our 200+ free printable conversation starters. Print them, cut them out, and put them in a bowl, so you can easily grab one or two to answer each day.  

5. Write a thank you note.

It’s time to go old school. Write your spouse a thank you note, and leave it on the counter for them. A simple handwritten “thank you” will go a long way. 

6. Synchronize work breaks.

Look at your work calendars. Can you get away for a lunch or coffee date this week? Or, is there a Friday you both have light loads you could take PTO? The kids will still be in school, so take advantage of your random “free” Friday to connect. 

Young married couple looking for how to reconnect with your spouse, so they met up for a date during their work lunch breaks

7. Make time to play together and be silly.

Having fun is like glue for your relationship. Find a way to make each other laugh again.

8. Do something you “used to do.”

What is one thing you and your spouse enjoyed doing when you were dating? Do that again. 

9. Look into one another’s eyes.

Eye contact increases intimacy with your spouse. Sit on the couch or lie in bed, and gaze into each other’s eyes. It’ll be hard not to form a deeper bond. 

10. Take a trip, and make new memories.

It’s vital for your marriage to take trips together and have extended, uninterrupted alone time, longer than just a few hours. Even if you can only get away for one day and night in your city, make it a priority to do so. A staycation is still better than no time at all. If you’re local to Atlanta, Georgia or you want to make a trip to explore the city, we’ve got a ton of Atlanta recommendations to make this the best staycation or vacation.

11. Set healthy boundaries.

Sexy, right? It might not sound sexy to have a conversation around healthy boundaries, but it may be necessary. For example, do you need to prioritize a 15-minute connection point each day with no phones, no TV, no kids, and no distractions? 

12. Try a new experience together.

Try a cooking or dance class, or visit a new restaurant. If you typically hang out indoors, go for a hike. When you try something new, you’ll inevitably engage in new conversation. 

Middle aged married couple looking for how to reconnect with your spouse, so they're trying a new experience together taking a dance class

13. Create a bucket list.

Most people have individual bucket lists of things they’d like to accomplish. Have you and your spouse created one? You can start small. Take time to brainstorm some things you’d like to accomplish together. 

14. Then, go and do it!

Check something off your bucket list together, and celebrate your accomplishment! 

15. Read a book together.

Find something that interests both of you, and read it together. Whether you take turns reading aloud, or you read it individually and talk about it, you’ll find it’s easier to connect when you have something shared to talk about. 

16. Leave your spouse a love note.

It could be a simple message on the bathroom mirror, “Looking forward to tonight!” that shows your spouse you’re anticipating connecting with them later. 

17. Pray together.

It’s important to have individual walks with the Lord. It’s equally as important to approach the throne of God together. Spend some time praying together, thanking God, and asking him to be present in your marriage. 

18. Connect via physical touch.

Have a steamy make out session. Take a bubble bath. Give one another a back rub. Snuggle up on the couch for a movie night. Be intentional about greeting each other with a hug and kiss when you walk in the door. Physical touch is vital for your marriage. 

Young married couple looking for things how to reconnect with your spouse, so they're connecting via physical touch, sharing a hug together

19. Volunteer together.

Volunteer at a local nonprofit organization, serve at your church together, or go on a walk and pick up litter along the way. Give back to your community as a team. 

20. Start a gratitude journal.

Take time at the end of each day or each week with your spouse to jot down one or two things you’re grateful for—for your marriage, your family, or your life in general. At the end of the year, you’ll be able to look back and see all the things you’ve been blessed with and by. 

21. Play games.

Dust off your board games or deck of cards and engage one another in friendly competition.  

22. Plan a surprise.

Whether it’s small—you surprise your spouse with a hot bath at the end of a long day—or it’s big—you surprise your spouse with a weekend trip to a new city, plan something out of the ordinary for your spouse. 

23. Apologize.

Has your spouse shared something with you recently that upset them? Put your pride away, and apologize for where you might have gotten sideways. 

24. Create a vision for your marriage.

Have you ever cast a vision for your marriage? If you have, maybe it’s time to cast a fresh vision. Or, if you’ve never done so, consider spending time with your spouse working through the question, “What do we want our marriage to look like?” 

25. Attend a WinShape Marriage experience.

There’s nothing like investing in your marriage by learning helpful marriage tools and spending time with other married couples. If you’ve never tried a Marriage Retreat or Romantic Adventure, now’s the time.

Middle aged married couple looking for how to reconnect with your spouse, so they're attending a WinShape Marriage experience

So, our hope is that you and your spouse will be intentional about finding ways to reconnect with each other. This list is not meant to stress you—you don’t need to have all 25 completed by next month or even next year. Read through them with your spouse, and identify a few that stand out to you—what are you already doing well you can celebrate? Then, what can you begin implementing in your marriage to improve your connection? 

Spend Extended Alone Time Reconnecting

If you need more dedicated alone time with your spouse to talk and reconnect, check out a WinShape Marriage Retreat. You’ll learn valuable sills, but you’ll also rest with your spouse and connect in new ways.

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